ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Kiss
Puke
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
