in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
