Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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