im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
