There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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