its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
