I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
