you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
