He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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