I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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