Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
