After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
