shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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