You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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