If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
