Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize