i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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