I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
