I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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