I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
