Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
