Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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