hell yes lets make some ravioli
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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