Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
