Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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