u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My dad just said "fuck circus"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
