Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
