Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
