He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
