Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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