By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
