i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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