Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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