he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
