Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
