his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
