would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize