Having a random hookup so left but love u
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
