Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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