More tranny stories later!
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
