C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
