i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
