Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
