I cannot find my penis.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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