doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
