woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
