My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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