I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
