plz talk dirty to me
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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