yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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