hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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