It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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