Do you still have your period?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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