beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
