I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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