Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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