there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
