Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
