Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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