just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
