i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
