Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
