hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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