Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize