Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
