first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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