i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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