My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
