I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
