fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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