How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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