i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
