It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
