Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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