If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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