Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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