and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
